Who the Heck?

Toys as Narrative

Joanne Kelly, Eddie McClintock and Saul Rubinek in Warehouse 13 for The Sci Fi Channel
The job this season means writing teleplays for three main characters tasked with managing a giant warehouse filled with artifacts (collected from around the world) that can ruin your day. All three are Secret Service agents; two guys and a girl cracking wise, running, jumping and saving the world by heading out into one adventure after another for WAREHOUSE 13. Look for it this June on the Sci Fi Channel. I’m one of two executive producers working with a staff of talented writers who spend their days dreaming up jack-in-the-box surprises for the characters and you.

But right now it’s Christmas week. With presents under the tree for my kids, I’ve been thinking about the potential for fun and surprises hidden in wrapped boxes piled up in one location. And this got me on an imagination nostalgia trip. I’m thinking about the toys that got me into storytelling.

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I grew up in the 1960s and was still, as my dad said, “playing with dolls” into the early 1970s. The space race was a full-time fascination. And the toy makers that embraced that fascination were rewarded with a legion of boys (and a few girls, I’m sure) who hammered their parents for anything rocket related. My toy of choice (while my older brother was scorching his fingers with Estes rockets) was Major Matt Mason. A doll, yes. But so much more . Bendable, posable (if you had one you know that sinking feeling when one of Matt’s internal wires snapped resulting in an arm or leg akimbo) and willing to undertake any mission you threw him. “He lives on the moon. We may all be there soon.”



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In the “Create Your Own Horror” department (resulting in either a rubbery monster or a burned down house) Mattel gave kids a hot-as-hell hot plate that cooked up bugs, skeletons or, if you had the proper molds, Superman or Tarzan. This was a close to a chemistry set I ever received. There was endless fascination for me when a negative mold (a carved out representation of a creature in a small block of steel) was filled with liquid plastic (how cool is that?) and produced, under extreme heat, a positive result: a Creepy Crawler. The making of my own toys, the transformation of raw materials into something tangible, something that didn’t exist a few moments before, was my first unwitting step into a career made of cobbling disparate thoughts together to make something (hopefully) greater than the sum of its parts.



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A variation on this molten theme is the Strange Change Machine. Again, science worked out the secret of “memory plastics” and, what else, turned it into a toy. You’d take a cube of plastic, heat it up until a dinosaur (or something just as cool) sprung forth. Then, as a precursor to the concept of re-writing (I know, a stretch), you could crush it back into a square and start over.

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But the toy that meant more to me than anything was a little guy that engaged in outright fakery to accomplish his goal. While I was pretending with him, he was pretending right along with me. We were in a symbiotic relationship of play. Of course I’m speaking of Captain Action. Made by Ideal, this action figure (not “doll,” Dad; yeah, I got issues) took the superhero/secret identity concept and shoved it through the Looking Glass. The Captain was able to wear the uniforms of Superman, Batman, the Green Hornet, Spiderman, you name it. But under the mask was a thin-faced, fretful-eyebrowed, insecure looking fellow. Sort of like me at 10 years old. He was, in a sense, my first writing partner. Together we created situations and scenarios based on prior material. In a way that’s almost impossible to describe I feel like everyday I go to work I’m pulling out my toybox and rummaging through the gear inside. Invariably, Captain Action steps forward. What mask shall he wear today? How about... a Secret Service agent... continually getting into scrapes?



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Travis McGee

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As Americans debate their retirement options, they should look to the example of private investigator Travis McGee. The immortal creation of crime novelist John D. MacDonald, McGee would "retire" after each payday until the money ran out, on the theory that it's better to enjoy your golden years in installments while you're young.”

– Leonard Cassuto

I was in college. Unhappy. Finals were approaching and I hadn’t studied. So, embracing the failure that I knew was coming, I looked for further diversion. I found “salvage consultant” Travis McGee. Created by author John D. MacDonald, McGee was the kick in the ass I needed. MacDonald, through McGee, became a mentor and a handy moral compass for me. To this day, when faced with a ticklish ethical situation, it always helps to ask, “What would Travis do?” That is, after he slugs it out with some baddy, beds a beautiful but fragile client, and suffers through his own clay-footed crisis of faith only to rise, doubtful of his own abilities, and right a gruesome wrong. If you don’t know Travis, start at the beginning. Forgive the quaintness of the 1960s morals and stick with him. Watch him grow. You will too. And, by the way, the books do kick ass.

Watching the detective.
Wiki McGee.

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R.I.P.



Forry Ackerman has left the mausoleum.
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Jekyll

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Now that NBC’s My Own Worst Enemy has succumbed to it’s eventual fate so early in its run I’m compelled to revisit one of the best iterations of the Jekyll and Hyde franchise to date. And it wasn’t MOWE.

JEKYLL is a BBC production starring James Nesbitt and written by Steven Moffat. Smart, witty and scary, JEKYLL follows the present-day complications encountered by a family man who’s discovered a personal and terrifying genetic anomaly. In an ultimately futile attempt to keep his wife and twin boys safe from his murderous alter-ego, Tom Jackman (Nesbitt) has moved out of his house and taken up residence in a fortress-like apartment complete with a massive, leather-strapped chair. Thankfully for us, the straps are useless. Not so much for anyone else who crosses paths with Jackman’s bad self.

There’s sex and violence, corporate intrigue and love and hope. And Nesbitt. He’s fantastic.


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Weasels

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GHOST HUNTERS jumped the shark and crapped themselves in the process. A few posts ago I named this show as one of my guilty pleasures. The guys and gals appeared to be good-natured working stiffs eager to stumble around in the dark and golly-gosh at potential paranormal phenomena with an eye toward skepticism and an appreciation for the thrill of the (ghost) hunt.

Until this Halloween. The guys had a live show that night. And it was a staged, manufactured mess of bush league amateur hour horseshit. Okay, I know there’s no such thing as ghosts. I get it. And, yes, GHOST HUNTERS is on the Sci Fi(ction) Channel so truth is subject to interpretation (or avoidance). But, what the frig? Couldn’t they have done a better job of faking the goods? A Kiwanis Club magician has better skills.

Grant Wilson and Jason Hawes are, of course, entertainers. And while those Roto-Rooter staged preambles in earlier episodes were a cute but obvious attempt at promoting the Regular Joe of it all they were still appealing in their clunky-cheesy fakery. But when the vans rolled and the folks wanting answers were met I (stupidly, I know, I know) assumed things were more on the up and up than not. I’m an idiot.

Because of a fan backlash (hit YouTube and search for “Ghost Hunters fake fraud”) the bloom is off. Apparently the pressure of continuing to grow their ratings has led to things like the situation you’ll find documented in the video below:



How about that cheesy Marcel Marceau mime move Grant pulls. Isn’t that just the coolest little slip in shit you’ve ever seen? It makes every prior incident of unexplained spookiness just a run of the mill jerk off. Oh, well. It was fun while it lasted.

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There's Bound To Be Bargains

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If You Won't Listen to Me...

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Merlin Mann is the guy behind the blog 43 Folders. It’s hard to describe the site but it’s focus is on helping you to get things done. Anything.

And he’s got passions. Lots of them. But one of the things he’s most passionate about is the HBO series The Wire. That DVD set you keep meaning to watch. If you could only find the time.

I know. I know. You’re sick of people talking that damn show. And it’s off the air now anyway so who cares? Merlin does. And I dare you to read his piece about the show and not come away at least a little intrigued.

Seriously.
Seriously. Find the time.

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The War of the Worlds

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Seventy years ago. He adapted the novel. Assembled the actors. And changed entertainment history. The website The Mercury Theater on the Air has the audio files of his most famous radio drama along with more that you've probably never heard of or listened to. Go on over there. You're in for a treat. And, with Halloween just around the corner, if you're up for a truly creepy radio drama from the golden era of creepy radio dramas get over to Escape and Suspense! They've got a story (scroll down) called "Three Skeleton Key" read by Vincent Price. Listen to it in the dark. If you've got kids young enough to be scared pissless then by all means, park them in front of the speakers.

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Porn in the Afternoon

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“...we acted very fast to get it off.”Nancy Cottenden, Director of Communications for Rogers Cable.

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Digital. Not Digitalis.

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The Object of My Affliction

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Apple dropped some new hardware today. In spite of the fact that I’ve got more Macs than I know what to do with... I want. Check it here.
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Disaster Coverage

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Another Sci Fi and More Channel

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Remember when TV used to promise to take you places you’d never been and show you wondrous things? The AMC Network is beginning to convince me that it remembers that promise. MAD MEN is part of that. Writer/director Michael Nankin is working on a series set in WWII about downed B-17 fliers trapped behind enemy lines. And the novel Carter Beats the Devil about the trials and adventures of an early 20th Century magician is slated for production. As the networks keep regurgitating the same old same old it’s heartening and inspiring to see AMC (and A&E) reaching up to embrace ambitious stories that can elevate and entertain.
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Okay, This is Just Great

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My Guilty Ghostly Pleasure

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My wife laughs at me for loving this. Ghost Hunters on the Sci Fi Channel. I have absolute, unabashed deep affection for two New England plumbers and their little band of cohorts who travel around the country searching for creepy stuff. Grant Wilson and Jason Hawes are the show’s two leads. They’re accessible, disarming and determined to debunk what they can. But mostly they’re a hoot. With SUVs loaded to the fenders with high-tech gear (and stalked by a run and gun video and sound crew) they roll into some town or city and crash for the night at the local spook spot. Bars, hotels, factories, or families’ homes are their playground. Sometimes they get nothing on tape. Sometimes they get... something. I’m not saying I believe in supernatural jump-up (at least not while my pragmatic psychotherapist wife is watching). But I do believe Grant and Jason have a blast chasing it down. Me too, watching them do it.

Check out the clip below to see some of their “findings.”


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Fender Benders

Over at The Zicree Simkins Podcast Marc Zicree and I had a great conversation with TV writer/producer Lee Goldberg. Lee tells a great tale of going to Germany to help the TV industry over there get a grip on how to get and keep a growing audience. To get a glimpse of one of Germany’s more intriguing efforts check out the clip below. Ladies and Gents, ALARM FOR COBRA 11.

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The Object of My Affection

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In 1999, feeling nostalgiac for one of the the films that inspired me, I started looking around for an off-the-shelf model kit of the Nautilus submarine from Walt Disney’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
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There wasn’t one. So, after searching the web relentlessly for anything coming close to a replica of the sub, I discovered a fellow named Jim Key. Jim’s website, Custom Replicas, spelled out services for the discriminating yuppie desperate to relive his youth. Jim is a former prop builder for movies and television. But after years of toiling in model shops he found his talents being pushed aside by computer generated effects. So he offered his skills to anyone wanting a, well, custom replica of whatever anyone might want. I wanted the Nautilus. Jim and fellow artisan Scott Brodeen, a Nautilus aficionado, went to work. Within the year I had a 5’6” Nautilus. Coolest toy I ever bought myself. A small cottage industry began and the sub has gone slightly mainstream. Interested? Check out the Nautilus Drydocks.

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Barack Rolled!

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Just. Watch.

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The Wire - Season 5

“When you walk through the garden you got to watch your back.”

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If you’re a fan, you know. The Wire is the best show now not on television (unless it’s on your DVD player and right this moment it’s on mine). If you haven’t seen it – or maybe you tried it and gave up – there will come a time when you will become immersed. And you’ll become a zealot. You will gift seasons of The Wire to your family, your friends and to your mailman.


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Simkins sez hey.

Welcome. Thanks for dropping in. In short order I’ll be adding to this site, shoveling in some observations, opinions and other items of limited interest. I know this place sounds like a law firm. Actually the site name, the name of my company, is a callback to my formative years. A neighborhood. A street. The place where, as a kid growing up in the midwest, I spent hours watching television and loving it. This was the tv of the 1960s and 70s. The years of Quinn Martin and Irwin Allen. Of Jim West and Alexander Mundy. Of Partridges and Bunkers and Fugitives and Cronkite getting me to the moon and back. If you’ve got an interest how TV works or a question about the biz you need answered drop me a quick note.

Best,
David Simkins
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